Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Recent Activity: Movies, Career Choices, and Nutrition FUBAR'd

I believe laughter to be one of the healthiest things you can do, and I added about 10 years to my life last night.

Horrible Bosses is great, no understatement, I was crying laughing.

Remember when jason bateman was not funny and nobody liked him?

Next: after watching this video I plan on ditching my own current CEO position and working under Kenny Powers.

That's all I have to say about that.

Big Update:

Over the last few months I've bought a house, started a business, delt w/ unexpected situations that are unable to quantify but generally stayed in shape throughout the entire process, however my 8 pack is lacking and it pisses me off. So, just like always, experiments on myself have ensued.

I want to keep as much mass as I can, I'm 6'4" 225lbs right now (a little light, but not bad), and sticking somewhere around 10% bodyfat (enter robert deniro face + disappointment, not awesome).

If I can't throw an awesome bomb by taking my shirt off, I'm not happy. Just kidding, I'm a fat face person.

So, workouts?
No drastic changes, a few but nothing over the top.

Yes, drastic change. I've begun to eat like an animal created by the offspring of a lion, a horse and and a small hispanic family (minus the rice). Meaning I eat tons of meat, tons of green stuff and tons of beans (surprisingly mexican food has been the easiest way to maintain this if I am to eat out....unexpected and I like it. Mi amor comida de mexico).

I've allowed myself one day/wk to dramatically binge on anything that taunted me during the week. So that pizza that wanted to talk shit all week, yeah, he got his chewed up and shit out on sunday....bitch.

It was a tough decision but I cut some things that have been staples in my diet FOR YEARS.

-no steel cut oats
-no fruit (yeah, I know right)
-no potatoes (even sweet potatoes....tough one)

Some stuff I was already doing. For instance:

-No dairy (besides greek yogurt but who cares)
-No wheat, rice or grains in general

Now I get 100% of my carbs (outside of that one day food freak parade) from ridiculously low glycemic index, low glycemic load, and low insulin index foods. Basically that means I get my carbs from:

-vegetables (about 5-9 cups/day)
-legumes (beans and such)
-seeds and nuts (mainly quinoa, almonds and walnuts)

My protein sources haven't really changed much:
-Beef, chicken, pork, eggs

And the reasoning for the one day food parade that I've absolutely dominated for the last 3 weeks?

1) Denying your body calorically dense foods for too long can actually have a negative impact on endocrine function (hormones) as well as other bodily functions (especially in regards to fat loss and muscle maintenance). Taking one day/wk is not enough to create a drastic change to overall fat gain or loss. So even though the scale will tell you that you've gained 'weight', the progress you've had w/ 'fat' will not have been discouraged, as continual measurement (using the scale one or two days/wk maximum) will indicate.
2) Mentally it's just kind of nice to let it fly for a day. You know, you're out w/ friends, it's the weekend, it's summer, you want to swim, eat brats, pizza, drink beer, sip margaritas, flirt w/ the coolest girl at the party and generally live the life of every rich, overweight, happy person you know. So screw it, live it, do it, let loose for a day you uptight nutrifreak.

Now, obviously this diet is not sustainable, not even close. I just want things to happen fast to get back to my normal narcissistic self that loves walking by glass buildings, you know why.

All jokes aside, this type of regimen works, no doubt about it, it's mentally sustainable for the time anyone needs to lose what they currently have. It's perfectly safe, really it's way more safe and beats the hell out of 90% of americans day to day diet, and I'm not talking about the stereotypical fast food, hamburger helper dumbasses either, or even the people who think eating panera, subway or "pick your own asian place" was a good choice.

So far, no doubt about it, the ripples are in resurgence and there's less love to grab on the lower back side of my torso (love handles, for the slow and impaired that may or may not understand my's kind of out there).

You may ask how I keep the sheets from floating at night....Well, I have my tricks for that too.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Bigger+Healthier Bench Press: w/ an Arch

The flat bencher gets injured and has low numbers, which in turn means he doesn't get bigger or stronger. Ummmm......Isn't that the reason 9 out of 10 guys go to the gym in the first place?

So, besides the fact that it makes you look like a raging pussy, we can also deduct that putting your feet up on the bench, which causes a flat back, is not good. Read on.

This is DUMB

W/ a flat back on the bench we're subjecting the rest of our spine to compression it's foreign to and unable to handle. That compression is going to come out some where. Ever heard of the guy that injured his back or neck traumatically while bench pressing? Happens all the time, just for this one reason.
Besides his total being seriously compromised this is an injury waiting to happen. Perfect example of how NOT to bench press.

And that compression in your spine pushes the thoracic spine and in turn your scapulae into poor position which hampers your shoulders from performing as they should. You end up putting forces in wrong places and it doesn't work out for you joint capsule or the muscles around it. Bad deal pal.

It's almost as smart as doing crunches.

Like an atomic bomb going off in your vertebrae

So what to do? Arch - your - back!

Lifting w/ a big arch:

1) Solves everything from above.

2) This allows the spine to sit in better position, decreasing chance of injury.

3) Shortens the distance the bar has to travel=bigger numbers

4) Bigger numbers=bigger badass=bigger muscles

5) You'll be able to utilize your lats more, better for the shoulder and improves numbers

6) For it to count you need 3 points of contact: Butt, feet, shoulders. So if you ass fly's in the air it wont count. As you see in the video had I not arched that larger my ass would've flown off the bench, even though its hard to tell w/ the loose shorts, I get away w/ it.

How to Bench

1) Push your shoulders into the bench

2) Pull your feet underneath you

3) Get a big arch as if you have a football under your low back

4) Tuck your elbows

5) Drive your feet in the ground, tighten your glutes and your lats

6) Pull (and look) the bar low on your chest w/ your lats
7) Explode up (blow the bar up w/ your air) and flare your elbows for the last quarter of the lift.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Dear Indian Wedding

Dear Indian Wedding,
You are probably one of the most amazing things I've ever seen and it's possible that I no longer "hate" weddings..... Did I really just say that?

Dear Indian food - My bowels were raving about you all day.

Dear non indian Bride - Allie: I've probably never given you a compliment, so take this for what it's worth. I've never seen you look so gorgeous and happy. Glad you made a good decision.

Dear Anay- You did well man. Wasn't sure about you at first. skeptic eye got the best of me, just thinking of my cuz. And I'm a whack job, you're in the family now, you'll find out.

Dear my dance partners: I WOULD apologize for my drunkeness, stepping on your toes, spitting when I spoke, and generally hitting on you the entire time....however, there's no need b/c A) perfect level of alchohol B) that was a blast C) I was in the zone.....if that's what you want to call it.
This is actually my mom and I. Haha, Probably right after I picked her up and swung her around patrick swayze style. What can I say, I was in the zone.

Dear my older sister: Thanks for letting me use my niece and nephew to have a reason to get on the dance floor in the first place.
What a little shit head

Side note: My Aunt Susan, My mom, and my Grandma Hillyard were stunning as well.
This is my mom and little sister
My aunt Susan and my mom, and the opposite side of the family continually mistook these two for the other. Wonder why.....
Oh Grandma.

Anyone not there missed out.

Yeah, I still got a few...."You married yet?"
My response, "Nope, and loving it, but thanks for asking".

Still waiting on my dream girl.... You know, tall, athletic, dark, curly haired, smart girl, that smiles a lot, w/ an opinion as strong as mine, personality that takes your breath away and that look that says come and get me not b/c she's just hot but b/c she's sexy as it gets. Glutes the size of a mini mediterranean donkey and long thin legs wouldn't hurt either....just sayin.

But in all honesty, that whole event was an experience. I had no idea what to expect and it was fantastic.

Friday, July 1, 2011

GRIT GYM Sponsors: Tri in July

I'm pretty excited for this event actually ( After all the hating I've done on long distance anything that's a lot for me to say. But this is a short sprint triathlon. Which, in my head can be justified. Although I'm still not going to participate.....6 mile run.....screw that. I'll do 4oo yard repeat sprints through the whole thing instead. It's also for a good cause, and a couple of pretty badass GRIT GYM athlete's put it on each year (that'd be you Angie and Abbie). So I'm sponsoring anyone that works out at GRIT. Really that just means they get a race shirt and I pay their entry fee....
This is the only picture I could find w/ a quick google search (sorry strobel's)

330 yard swim
6 mile bike
2 mile run

The Triathlon begins at 7:30 in Sigourney, Iowa July 10th.

Should be a great day, I encourage everyone to get registered (click here). If you feel left out from being sponsored well........shoot me an email ( and I'll see what I can do about getting you a shirt.