Thursday, December 27, 2012

Defining GRIT

I once heard a man say "Words freeze reality". Sit w/ that for awhile. 

Humans are extremely social animals. To the point that w/o this we will die. Interestingly enough the reason we are so social is due to evolution. Groups made us better able to survive. The mammalian brain developed from millions of years of the outsiders of primitive species getting killed off and failing to reproduce, while the more social insiders stayed close to each other, survived and had offspring. 

Reptillian brain: Instincts like reproduction and survival (food, fight/flight, sex), along w/ our masculinity/femininity.
Mammalian brain: emotions, social stuff like attachment/bonding/friendship, it assigns value to people/events/symbols/information (this is how friendships start, a certain amount of shared positive emotions), we don't have direct influence of this like we do in the higher brain. 

Higher brain: beliefs, intellect, character, commitment and identity, creativity, decision making, ethics, identity, boundaries, etc. This is also where we trick ourselves w/ our own bullshit (logically we know who and what we are but the bullshit is that on some level this logic contradicts our true deep down belief of our self that we've developed since infancy through our experiences and the bullshit is the lie between your logic and your true beliefs that aren't logical, everyone has this, but no one knows that your logic/truth is based on a lie w/o lots of work and being told so, something like this, b/c the lie has been going on before our first memory so it is accepted as "true" and we don't know any different, until we do something about it like this: click here, esp the bottom two). 

Verbal communication (words) live in the top two brains (80% of human communication is done nonverbally). They are important, and why have them if not to be clear on what each mean. How else are we to clearly communicate w/ each other? 

Since the first idea of GRIT GYM there's been a question to how do I define what GRIT means. I know what it means to me, but how will that come across to anyone else. It's not JUST about getting results or being part of a tribe, it's a way of living, it's an attitude, it's about character and growth, it's about being a badass (not the weak, insecure bully or passive type but the strong willed, personable, intelligent person of high character or seeking high character), but this is still vague. To someone else Grit could mean that the gym is full of sand or about clenching your teeth. 

A word that is strikingly interesting to me around this is RESOLVE, as a verb and a noun. 


  • resolution or determination made, as to follow some course of action.
  • Firmness of purpose or intent; determination.

It's been a year of testing one's resolve, the cinderella story is long over and the gym is approaching the terrible two's. Just like anyone else, I know my resolve has limits. H/e I also know that depending on what it is I'm likely to cross that line between tough and stupid long before realizing that I need to give it up or make a change. 

Personally, my resolve is subject to my titles: Man, Coach, Uncle, Friend.

At any point in time this is to be the most incredible that I can be in that particular moment and it has nothing to do w/ perfection. Best coach I can be when I'm coaching, best uncle I can be for the moments when I'm w/ my niece and nephews, and the most incredible friend that I can be when it's time. Which means (and this is the most important for everyone) taking care of myself first to be the most incredible man/person I can be, then I can be of true service. 

"If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself, if you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation." -Lao Tzu
(that's where this would come in: click here

That's my resolve and my preparation for these moments, it's what it takes to be and do the best that I possibly can. The best I can possibly prepare, will prepare me to do/be my best while in these moments. Same goes for everyone. Just so happens that I bite off more than I can chew on a regular basis, and I've fail a lot. Show me someone that's never failed and you'll see a person that's never taken a chance and never tried. 

Failure is not only powerful, it is NECESSARY. What matters is what we do after.
Will we learn and rise, fall apart and crumble, or repeat and stay the same?

GRIT means: 
Can't stop it, can't smooth it out, wont quit. It's about character.

Character is largely built on resolve. That's what GRIT is about. What you are willing to do. Willing to work, will to change, willing to do what you fear, don't understand or not ready for, and willing to challenge everything you 'think' you know or accept of your self and circumstance. GRIT is about resolve and that's up to you, but for GRIT GYM it's about doing w/e it takes, and what it takes is doing your best in each present moment. 

This carries into any application: life, job, sport, passion, studies, family, etc. 

There are people w/ more titles than me, for instance: teacher, partner, wife, husband, mother, father, etc. When it is time to embody that title I hope that everyone has had the resolve to be their best and for that best to be enough.

"It's not about what you're capable of, it's about what you're willing to do."

No one wins every competition. Losing doesn't mean that your not enough. You cannot do better than your best, but most of us are so scared of our best that we avoid thinking about it. We make up pain that hasn't happened yet, what if we lose (click here). If you compete fearing to lose it'll end up like anything else that you go into w/ fear about. You'll lose, even if you win. If you go in accepting that you can fail but you're going to give it every possible thing you have, then you can experience the win and you can lose w/o failing (w/o being defeated). You gave it everything you had for that particular moment, and that's enough. A hat can be hung on that.   

"Defeat is a state of mind; no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality" -Bruce Lee

So I ask you to define your resolve. It will change as you grow. Just as it should. You'll find yourself recognizing your personal limiting beliefs, things you didn't know existed (like challenging your personal bullshit) and what set/s you apart from others. The nice thing about all this is that there is ONLY ONE YOU, no else can be you, so be your own hero, it's your story that you're living. 

My resolve is simple: The absolute best I have and can do in the present moment and that is enough. Can't stop it, can't smooth it out, wont quit. 

I'm not saying it should be yours, but I encourage you to be courageous, to be present, continuously learn and challenge yourself, and to do your best, which will be incredible as long as it is your best. When you do that, it will be enough. You'll experience the victory, and you'll be able to live w/ loss w/o being defeated. Much like we'll all die, we'll all lose, and much like there's no point in living fearing death b/c it's inevitable and a waste of time/life, competing is the same way. Compete w/ the acceptance that you can lose, but that you're competitor will have to beat your absolute Grittiest, disgustingly aggressive, methodical, focused, relentless best that you have in that present moment and that you've prepared w/. 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our Deepest fear, is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small, does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking So that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine, as children do. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone, and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear; our presence automatically liberates others."

Your best is incredible, if you'll choose to go for it. What you choose is your resolve. 

"The reward for our work is not what we get, but what we become" -Paulo Coehlo 

Resolve to be your best, to be present, and to love yourself. (or for women) 
Add "REES" for a $20 coupon.
-Websters dictionary
-Coach Carter (2005)

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