Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Give me a break

These are a few things that I've been running into lately where all I can do is think "Oh, give me a break". Sometimes they are funny and sometimes they're just downright annoying. I try and deal with them in a very nice diplomatic way, but typically I just want to squish it right there. But in all honesty if there's one person with a question there's usually many others as well so this is my attempt to be slightly entertaining and informative. Here you go. Enjoy.

100 calorie snack packs.
1 lb of nails and 1 lb of feathers weighs the same. Just like 100 calories of fecal matter is the same as 100 calories of anything else. Just cause it's 100 calories makes it no more healthy than anything else. How about 100 calorie packs of ice cream, syrup or bacon grease. Give me a break.

Les Mills systems
I honestly did get asked by a body pump instructor if I'd ever done 5 min of squats straight. I laughed in her face cause I thought she was joking. Turns out I'm a jerk on accident. Oops. But seriously. Give me a break.
© 2007 Les Mills International!
There's no way that doing squats with a barbell on my back for 5 minutes is ever going to contribute to any goal I've ever had. As far as that goes the only goal it could possibly help with would be doing squats for 5 minutes. But doing technical lifts for extended durations is not going to be a good idea. Actually it's a very bad idea. I'm not saying the word 'never' but I've not come across a situation yet nor can I think of one. It would be hard enough for an experienced lifter with incredible body control to pull this off without breaking form, hitting depth, and holding good position let alone the random gym goer, of which almost 100% of them have some sort of joint, postural, or functional dysfunction.

Flaring your elbows while doing pushups.
This is another les mills exercise that I can only describe as FUBAR. Seriously, if you have an instructor/trainer/coach that tells you to do pushups with your elbows at 90 degrees to your torso don't say anything just walk away, check that, Run away and fast. Why? Cause it's about the dumbest thing I've ever heard of in my whole life. Unless your goal is bombed out shoulders and pain for the rest of your life.

With the body form follows function always. The shoulder girdle sits in a position relative to the humerous and thoracic spine that allows the muscles to track in a very specific way. Go against that and it causes problems. You're looking at impingements, GIRD (gleno humeral internal rotation deficit), rotator cuff fraying, etc...all are bad bad bad.
I explain this one daily! It's ridiculously annoying. People, PLEASE pass the word along about this and Give me a break!!!

How about that diarhea yogurt stuff?
Yeah Jaimie Lee Curtis used to be hot back in the day, but biffidus regularis??? Give me a break. Any yogurt has cultured bacteria (that's what makes it yogurt, so does cottage cheese) and yogurt is healthy as long as it isn't chalked full of sugars.

This container is just a gimick sales pitch so they can make it more expensive. Of which seems funny considering they're selling you on pooping more. You want something that'll actually help you, eat more celery. You can even toast to it,"Here's to pooping".

This might be the most funny one of all, but in all actuality it holds about as much water as any of the others. This stick somehow performs miracles. Give me a break. Click here and you'll see what I mean.

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